All The Things

 Good morning Blog World. 

I am so excited right now...about what you might ask? Everything. 

Things are coming together in such a positive way for me. I am actually so grateful to be home right now with Alice. I am learning new things about her every day. I am also loving all this time to be creative and productive. 

I have a lot of things going on that I am trying to accomplish. 

Most of these things are attempts to grow my channel and grow my income lol. 

I think I might start selling on Amazon. Mostly Books or video games. 

I have become an amazon associate which basically means I can get links to share with you and then I can make a very tiny commission if someone were to buy anything from amazon. 

so far... I have made 20 cents...dont worry everyone I will remember you when I am rich and famous. HAHA

We have been working hard to get the house looking nice and organized... its been challenging but we are doing it. Little at a time. Its going to be so fricken epic when we are done. 

Something that made me chuckle... My husband hasnt had most of his stuff out on display for a long time. My house was just too small for all the things we collectively have so most of it was in storage. So A lot of this stuff I am seeing for the first time. Well he tells me to find homes for the things. So I careful unpack the things and try to decide where it would fit. 

Most of the things in this particular box were dragons. I love dragons...I usually lean more towards the cute quirky looking ones and he leans more towards the badass scary looking ones. But either way. I am happy with finding a home for dragons. Naturally everything in the house has to be somewhat baby proof but I decided our bedroom was going to be more where we can display things that we dont have to worry about Alice getting into. 

On my shelf I have some handsome gargoyles that I have had for many years. Well I was putting the dragons next to them and of course they look a little random because the dragons are smaller. So it looks funny. but my thought process went to "Omg the dragons dont go with the gargoyles how can I ever find a home for them!" But honestly it doesnt look bad... It could be worse...I could be trying to put baseball figures or some other sport thing next to my gargoyles...That would look...well I am thankful for dragons.

There was only one thing I couldnt find a home for yet...that was the Halo thing... the video game...I dont know. Apparently its important we have this thing so I will find a home. But right now...its just in the catch all room which will some day (hopefully soon) will be the Nerd Cave. 

A place for Chris to display all of his nerdy memorabilia without it getting knocked over by cats or grabbed by Alice. 

He is being nice and sharing some of the space so I can have a badass computer set up so I can start really becoming a youtuber! Ha.

Lots of cool things are happening and its just so great to be able to have the time with not only Alice but with him to be able to set up our new home. 

Stay tuned! AND be sure to check out my channel!

 

Cant sleep

 Good evening internet world. 

I cant sleep. I have way to much going on in my mind. Mostly...my new adventure. 

I seem to have a lot of adventures huh. 

Well you see I decided that the blog thing wasnt working out the way I wanted...dont worry I will still come on here and ramble my thoughts to no one to read. But i decided it was time to try a new creative venture. 

YouTube. 

I have always wanted to start a YouTube Channel. I even got a camera and a tripod. 

It never went anywhere. Mostly because I put one video up of some random pictures of Bruce. 

But this time. I really want to be motivated to do it, I really want to get somewhere. 

I dont expect to strike it rich. Although that would be awesome. 

But it would be nice to be able to not worry about getting a job so I can stay home with Alice. 

See I was fired a few weeks ago from a job. It wasnt meant to be my forever job but the fact that I didnt leave on my own choice really bothers me. A lot. To the point I am having nightmares about it. 

I dont have the best self esteem. I often beat myself up over little things that I feel like most people just shrug off. 

The fact that I was told that I make too many mistakes...It really stuck with me. 

The job wasnt difficult. But the training was...well...I was told I had to train myself. I am pretty good at learning things pretty quickly on my own. But I do need some guidance sometimes...and at least a starting point. 

I am also not the best at spelling or numbers...which is ironic since I was a banker for 8 1/2 years and I also call myself a writer. 

But I dont think the mistakes I made were really worth being fired over. And yes they could have been avoidable...if someone would have helped me. 

It really hurt to hear that I wasnt good enough...for this simple job. I keep replaying the whole situation in my mind. But what really really hurt the most. When my boss was telling me my strengths...of what I would be good at in the future...Answering the phones and talking to people...just as long as I didnt have to figure something out. 

I dont know if I can type how I felt in that moment. To know that for the few months I had been there, that was my strength. And the really ironic thing about that is I hate talking on the phone. You have no idea that amount of self talk I have to give myself to just make my normal "adult" calls. Sometimes it takes days. 

So I really dont know what to do with this information. 

But I decided to give myself an impossible goal... One that I really hope I can accomplish. 

Doing more research I am constantly altering my goal but for now... 

I would like to be able to make some sort of income on Youtube by this time next year. 

I asked my husband if he thought I could do it. He kindly said...its not going to be easy. 

And I am aware that it wont be easy. But I can do this. 

I think I can be a great story teller. I just need to get out of my own way. I need to move past what people say to me and just do what I think is right. 

I will probably have to find a real job soon... But for now... 

I need to enjoy this time I can spend with my daughter and enjoy the time that I can build an audience for the channel. 

Its just hard for me to do that. 

So Internet. I need you to work your magic. I need you to help me get to 1000 subscribers and 4000 hours of public view time so I can start having ads on my channel. 

Please gods and goddess of the internet world hear my plea. I dont want fame and fortune. I just want to be able to be...me and be entertaining enough to get paid. 

I hope you all...which is no one reading this...understand what I am trying to do and make it a reality. I am going to need everyones help getting this goal achieved. 

Lets Get Random